Flow and Happiness

Earlier this year I read Arthur Brooks' book that he co-authored with Oprah Winfrey on living a happier life (note the word, it’s “happier” not “happy", a subtle but very important difference), from which I took this quote.

Obviosuly, as someone living in Finland, supposedly the happiest country on this planet for many years in a row according to the World Happiness Report, this was a particularly interesting read. 🤓

First of all, I wouldn’t describe the Finns as being particularly "happy", as I believe most of us will associate a perception with this word, which is an outward directed emotion.

Rather, I would describe them as being ‘content’, a much more inwards directed emotion, nevertheless also linked to happiness.

The other important point is that this famous report asks a scaling question, and where you position yourself in relation to the best possible life you can imagine. And here is where on one hand the Finnish humbleness comes into play, but more importantly, and to the comment above, how much happier one can imagine oneself to be.

And that is where Finns score high. They do not imagine that they could be that much happier. The gap between where they are and what they imagine could be the best life is not that big.

It has been explained at length that this, amongst other things, has to do with the social security and the structure of the welfare states, something that all top ranked countries share.

And then, the quote is also central. Just because people are happy — or content — does not mean that there is no unhappiness or misery. In fact, in his book Brooks argues:

“Without unhappiness, you wouldn’t survive, learn, or come up with good ideas. Even if you could get rid of your unhappiness, it would be a huge mistake. The secret to the best life is to accept your unhappiness (so you can learn and grow) and manage the feeling that result.”

And this is where the link to coaching becomes obvious.

Coaching is all about learning and growing. As a coach my goal is to help my clients do exactly that.

My approach is to bring Positive Psychology and Flow into the mix. Why?

Because Postive Psychology is the science of what goes right in life and holds the answer to many of the questions of what it takes to make our lives happier.

And because Flow is the optimal human experience and if we manage to get you into Flow more regularly, you will have more enjoyment, satisfaction and purpose in your life. Those are the 3 macronutrients that make up happiness, according to Brooks.

So you see, to live a happier life, getting a coach is a good idea.

Now, you can't just switch Flow on. And while most of us will have experienced Flow states at some point in their lives, few are aware of the neurological mechanisms behind it. However, what you can do, is create an environment and the conditions that allow you to find those elusive moments of flow in a more regular and consistent way.

There is a whole field of science dedicated to Flow which was pioneered by Mihaly Csikszentmihaly. And I base much of my coaching on this research and the wider field in which it is embeded: Positive Psychology.

As any skill we want to acquire, to find more flow requires commitment, consistency, and discipline, but the rewards can be the best we can hope for.

The Flow State itself brings enjoyment, as typically we like doing the activity for its own sake, without too much focus on the outcome.

Afterwards we feel a great deal of satisfaction for what we've achieved.

And finally, it often also feeds our sense of purpose, as the activity is ideally aligned and contributing to what brings meaning to our lives.

So, here we have them again, the 3 macronutrients of a happier life.