To coach, or not to coach, that is the question.

Time and again, I come across misconceptions about coaching.

When asking people whether they offer or use coaching, more often than not the answer sounds something like this:

“We have a pool of seasoned experts with loads of experience who can support people when they need it. We match them according to their needs.”

That’s great. But that’s mentoring. Or advisory.

That’s not coaching.

Mentors and advisors might sometimes act as coaches, perhaps they even are trained coaches, but most probably aren’t.

It’s easy to mix up the two. But coaches are neither mentors nor advisors.

Coaching is a collaborative partnership between a coach and a client aimed at unlocking potential, enhancing self-awareness, and driving forward action toward meaningful goals. Unlike therapy or consulting, it focuses on the present and future flourishing rather than past healing or expert advice.

✅ What Coaching Is

Coaching empowers clients to explore their current reality, identify strengths, and create actionable steps for growth. It thrives on engaged listening, curiosity, and equal partnership, fostering deep insights and resourcefulness. Coaches ask powerful questions to build autonomy, helping clients tap into intrinsic motivation for sustained change.

❌ What Coaching Is Not

Coaching does not involve fixing problems or providing answers. It avoids advising or directing like consulting, instead prioritizing client-led discovery over expert solutions. Nor is it mentoring, which shares personal experience rather than facilitating self-directed progress.

💡 Top Coaching Myths Debunked

Coaching myths often deter potential clients from experiencing its transformative power, but clarifying these misconceptions reveals coaching as a tool for anyone seeking growth.

❌ Coaching is only for struggling people.
✅ It’s about personal growth and development.

❌ Coaching provides answers or advice.
✅ Coaches ask powerful questions to spark client self-discovery and ownership, rather than offering solutions.

❌ Coaching is a quick fix.
✅ There’s no such thing. Sustainable change requires commitment and time, the real progress happens between sessions.

❌ Coaching is therapy in disguise.
✅ Coaching focuses on future goals and action from a place of wholeness, while therapy addresses past traumas and healing.

❌ Coaches need your industry experience.
✅ Effective coaching relies on facilitation skills, not shared background, enabling versatile support across contexts.

❌ Coaching is just motivational pep talks.
✅ Sessions build deep awareness and co-creative strategies, far beyond temporary inspiration.

I would like to take the three bolded ones and go a bit deeper, since those seem particularly important to me.

❌ Coaches need your industry experience.

Of course a coach must bring adequate coaching skills. But should a coach also bring a certain background, such as experience in an industry or type of roles?

Whenever I share that I’m a coach, a typical follow up question is “What kind of coaching?” or “What do you coach on?”

Well, technically everything. But my current default answer is “Business Coaching”. Although I’m not really satisified with that answer. Coaching is a very versatile tool, and I don’t feel like I need to bring any expertise besides good coaching skills.

Yes, it may help in certain circumstances, but it might also make the non-directivity, a core principle of coaching, more difficult. Because the more you know about the topic you’re coaching your client on, the bigger the risk becomes to fall into what Michael Bungay Stanier calls “The Advice Trap”.

Instead, we should hone our curiosity. And naturally, the less we know the more curious we can be. In her book The Power of Wonder (which I highly recommend), Monica Parker makes the case that amongst other things, wonder makes us less stressed and feel like we have more time.

Now isn’t that something we all long for?

It certainly is something I find myself doing in my coaching sessions.

Slowing things down a bit, so my clients can slow down too.

Many people I coach appreciate my calmness. I believe it’s one of my strengths which helps me maintain presence and listen actively (two of the ICF Core Competentcies).

In line with this, I found what Ian Day shared at the recent Holistic Coaching Summit useful. He said:

“Whenever I’m in doubt about my capability. I always go back to that phrase: When in doubt, coach. So all I go back to is asking open questions and listening and reflecting back. And that’s all I do. I don’t need to be a CEO to coach a CEO. All I need to do is have really good coaching skills and that’s it. So get your foundation right and you can coach anybody.”

This might be a controversial view. However, I believe it is true. Do you?

In my case, rather than saying who or what I coach, I prefer to share what informs my coaching. Which brings me to the next point I’d like to dive deeper into.

❌ Coaching is only for struggling people.

If that was the case, then coaching would be about fixing problems. If you’re struggling, there might be an underlying assumption that something is wrong. That something is holding you back, which needs fixing.

However, in coaching one of the fundamental premises is that we see our clients as whole and resourceful. And coaching is focusing on helping people grow and develop.

And there a different ways in which that can be done, in different methods, frameworks and tools in which one’s coaching practice can be anchored.

In my case, I decided to opt for Positive Psychology, with a special interest in Flow Science.

Why?

Because Positive Psychology is the science of human flourishing and provides insights on how we can best grow and thrive.

Because Flow is the optimal human experience and a gateway to more enjoyment, satisfaction and purpose in life (which are what Dr. Arthur Brooks calls the 3 macronutrients of happiness).

Positive Psychology emerged from the questions of what helps people do well and flourish in life. It was challenging the traditional approach of Psychology, which was focusing on what was broken in people, and how to fix it. And while that has provided a lot of good outcomes and relief to people’s suffering, it was blind to everyone who is doing just fine. Or even more than that.

So for me, it was a natural choice for coaching. Helping my clients understand what allow their own best selves to unfold, and actively work on creating the circumstances and environment that enables this to happen.

We can leave it to chance, or we can tackle it with intention.

❌ Coaching is just motivational pep talks.

This is related to the ‘quick fix’ myth. It’s not about quick pep talks. Coaching sessions build deep awareness and co-creative strategies, far beyond temporary inspiration. On top of that it requires the client’s commitment and time, because the real progress happens between sessions by acting on the insights gained.

If people think that coaching is just a quick fix or pep talks, the I believe that they unfortunately haven’t experienced good coaching (yet), or were unlucky and didn’t find the right match.

Yes, the coaching modaility is also about fueling the clients motivation, but a good coach will do so in a deep and maybe even transformative level.

Coaching can be about short-term challenges and about achieving certain goals that are top of mind in the moment. More often than not though, coaching is about more fundamental desires of change.

Clients wish to change their behaviors in a certain way in a sustainable way. Establish new habits and routines, get rid of things that no longer serve, or build on top of what is working well for them.

The strength of coaching lies in its simplicity.

Yet, just because it’s simple doesn’t mean it’s easy.

Neither for the client, nor for the coach.

To Coach, or not to Coach

So that’s the question. When should one seek coaching? Is there a right time? Are there certain circumstance where coaching is particularly helpful?

In my own experience, good coaching is very helpful at any moment in time (yes I’m biased, obviously).

As a coach I get coached regularly as well by peers. And sometimes I feel like I have no topic to be coached on. And I’ve more than once gone into a session just like that, saying that I didn’t bring anything specific. And then exploring that is just part of the session.

And I’ve been amazed in how insightful every single session has been. Whether I brought a specific subject or not, I always walked away with valuable insights and actions to start making meaningful changes in my everyday life.

These things can be bigger, or smaller. It can help you finally get some things done that you had been procrastinating on, or it can help you navitage a big transition in you life.

Transition are one of those circumstance where coaching is particularly powerful. So if there is a ‘right’ time for coaching, then that is certainly one where it would be worth exploring it, if you’ve never been coached before.

In moments of transition one typically feels overwhelmed and confused because of all the moving parts and it’s hard to focus, slow down our mind, to think clearly.

Coaching helps with that.

Creating this space where time slows down, where my clients can slow down. Because when we’re constantly running, we don’t notice the small things. And we might even miss the big things, because it’s all just a blur.

This is all to say that I’m becoming a coach (hopefully a good one), because I love the dynamics of those conversations, and it allows me to put some of my stengths to the service of others.

So why wouldn’t I do it?

Are you curious how coaching could help you?